Today’s topic is something really important to me. I mean, it is a really
It basically determines everything about your life… (see I told you it was big).
This big idea is how we tend to make ourselves small. Smaller than we really are.
Do you play small? Meaning, do you make choices in accordance to other’s desires? Do you do what you “should” do rather than what you want to do? Do you keep yourself from sharing your opinion? Do you put other’s needs before your own? Do you go with the flow so that everyone (but you) is happy?
Are you ready to change that? To stop living small? To stop living in accordance to other people’s expectations? Can you allow yourself to be you? Unfiltered. Unapologetic. Unveiled. Free of compromise. Real. You.
Of all the topics I touch on as a health coach, authenticity is my favorite. Why? Because that is where all the power lies. Your power is within you. Your truth is within you. All that you desire you already have. It is locked deep within you. Are you ready to find the key to set it free?
Are you ready to “March to the beat of your own drum?”
I know. It isn’t easy is it.
Do you remember as a child you had this spark? That unfiltered, pure living energy.
It is there though. That flash of your uniqueness, the essence of who you are.
It pretty much programmed out of us. Or, perhaps, it is programmed to go dormant. Don’t be fooled, it isn’t gone, it’s just hiding.
Some call this aspect of ourselves the Golden Child, inner light or intuition. It is deep within you, perhaps buried underneath the should’s.
As children we danced when we felt moved. We turned walls into canvases, we wore wings with our jeans and striped socks with our polka dot shirt. We couldn’t fathom eating when our family requested it because we are too busy playing in our world of forts and spaceships. We did what we wanted because we knew no other way.
So what happened? Chances are, over time, the outer world became threatened by our powerful light. Our beautiful, vulnerable, carefree, present way…so they told us to not shine to brilliantly. They encouraged us to fit into a box, to not talk so loud, and to act “normal”. Our light was squelched and our ability to listen to our inner guidance was blocked.
Perhaps you have a story in your life when you can recall someone telling you to be different than you innately were?
One thing I recall from my childhood is being told “ You are too emotional.” As a result I came to believe that emotions were bad… or that my emotions were “too much.” So I stopped showing the world my emotional side. I stopped feeling the depths of my emotions. I just showed anger, because anger was acceptable, crying was not.
I was also told, “People will never take you seriously if you laugh so much.” Ironically, one of my friends today tells me I’m so serious!
I don’t remember making the conscious choice and changing how I behaved… but I obviously did. My natural way of being use to be light, playful, silly, bubbly… but then the light was dimmed. I started looking at life as a chore, as an obligation, as work. It wasn’t to be taken lightly. There was no room for fun. There sure wasn’t anything to laugh about.
Does this resonate with you? Can you think of a time in your life when you were told you were “too much” of something?
What if that part of our innate self is where our true flame, our true power comes from? Maybe that is our Super Power!
So, all this talk about power. Letting go of playing small, stepping into a bigger life. Sounds great, but how do we do it? How do we know when the voice within us is coming from our inner guide rather then society/culture/inner critic/fear?
It presents it’s self in a different way. It feels different.
It often shows up in our life like a Spark. You know, a spark of inspiration. A moment of clarity. A jolt of reality. A calling.
It is there.
I heard someone say the other day that we can’t teach people to access their intuition, we can only try not to suppress it.
When I head this my heart sank. (I don’t want ANYONE to think that is true!) For someone with decades of life recorded (me), that would mean I am helpless to reclaim my inner light. “Intuition? Nope, I lost it, not going to get it back in this life time.” That just doesn't bode well with me. Victim? No thank you. Powerful? Yes please!
I do believe that we can reconnect with our intuition/inner guide/inner light.
I do believe that this is the missing link to healing. Healing our relationship with our bodies. Healing our relationship with self, with community, with nature, with politics, with culture, with the world, with the Universes!! Reconnecting with our inner essence is how we heal.
This is why this is my favorite topic. This is why this is so BIG, and so freaking important to me.
Yes, some would say that what I am implying is spiritual. I confess, it is.
In 12 step programs they state that addiction is a spiritual disease. We lack health because we have lost touch with the spiritual aspect of life. I believe this to be true, for I have been there. They also say we must do the work. Work it!
Our key to living the life we desire is living from our inner wisdom. It is following your heart. It is taking random choice or idea that appears from seemingly no where. It is that Spark.
Our healing starts by bringing sprit back into our world. Connecting to our true, unfiltered desires. It is allowing that spark to start a flame. You no longer need to keep your desires as an ember, you can allow them the burn into existence.
So how do you do this? How do you connect with your inner light? How can you learn to hear you inner guide when it speaks?
It takes work. It takes effort.
It takes intention.
Don't be fooled, it isn't easy. Then again, the best things come with effort, determination and patience.
There are SO many ways to reconnect with your inner compass. The most important thing to do is choose what feels good to you. That is actually the start.
Do what feels good.
Here is an example on how to notice your feelings (emotional or physical).
Let’s say you are invited to a couple holiday parties that are on the same day. When you read the first invitation from your friend your heart expands, you get giddy, and the excitement is pouring out of you. (Yes! Yes! Yes!) You open the second invitation from your boss and you feel yourself constrict, your heart feels heavy, and your stomach feels like there is a ton of lead in it (That is a No).
There is nothing that says that you HAVE to go to the second party. Nada. The only thing to do is express gratitude for the invitation. If it doesn’t feel good, you always have the power of choice, the choice to say no. You can choose what fills you up. The choice that brings you happiness. You get to choose if you are stepping into your power or giving it away.
Our greatest power is choice. Only you can make the choices for your life.
Another way to connect to your inner guide may be through writing. (or conversation with a dear friend).
Ask yourself, when do I choose others? When do I abandon self? What choices do I make that aren’t in alignment with my deeper, truer desires? How does it feel when I put other’s before me? Give it a shape, color, sensation, energy.
Also consider, do you spend time with people that drain you? Where you literally feel smaller, weaker, and inadequate when you are around them? Are there places that leave you feeling this way? What other area’s of your life do you give your power away?
Once you start asking yourself these questions, and feeling what it is like in your body when you are playing small, you will notice. You will notice when you are not being true to yourself.
Ask yourself in each moment. What do I desire?
Does this feel good, powerful and expansive? Does if feel weak, constrictive, or heavy?
Yes, life gives us many opportunities to make choices. And no, we don’t always get the choice we want. Yet, there is always the better choice. The choice that reminds us that we are the super hero in our own lives.
One of the other ways to connect to your authentic self is to create space. Slow down. Stop.
You need the spaciousness to be able to feel what your body says. You need time to allow that voice to speak to you. You need to be relaxed so that your heart can open.
You can welcome this voice with: Meditation. Visualization. Optimism. Trust. Compassion. Love.
So, to stop all this smallness hoo-hah we can no longer depend on things outside of us to empower us. We must first empower ourselves, from within.
It isn't when you weigh a certain number, or when you get a specific job, or when you scale a mountain that you will finally find your inner power. The power is there, inside you.
See, magic happens when you live your life from the power of your own choice.
Those moment happen every day. Multiple times a day.
The choice is yours.
Oh the irony. We play small.
We want to be smaller. Have a smaller waist size and smaller thighs.
We don’t share our voices, because we are afraid to be heard.
We don’t want to stand out, so we blend in.
It is time that we stopped playing small.
It is time that we stand up and reveal who we are and know that we’re good enough.
What if we lived big? Big in an energetic way. Big with our actions.
Ginormous smiles. Huge hugs. Grandiose ideas. King Kong sized faith. Unwavering belief that you are adequate, capable, powerful and worthy.
Like the sun, always shining. Day after day. You rise. You connect with your life. You see the spark. You choose to embrace that power. You listen to the inner guide. You follow your heart. You smile at the small voice telling you it’s possible, and you move forward trusting that you can make your desires reality.
So… are you ready for change?
What if we stopped worrying what other people thought of us? What if we stopped caring if people see who we really are? What if we WANT people to see us for who we really are, not who they want us to be?
You are real. It is time to live real. Really, authentically you real.
This is your life. This is your time. It is time for you to live for you. Make choices for you.
You are in the flow. You are in the know. The knowing of your soul.
The world will thank you. Most of all, YOU will thank you.