Hello again, thanks for coming back. I mean, who doesn’t want more energy, right?
Last week I shared with you something I see most women doing…. giving more of themselves than they have to give. As nurturers, that’s kinda how we are wired, we make sure that everyone is taken care of. Unfortunately, we often do this at the expense of our own needs and desires… ultimately leaving us depleted, depressed and perhaps even bitter.
(If you didn’t see last weeks post, you can find it here).
When we are finally willing to put ourselves first, to take care of our own personal needs, and ask for help when we need it, we can discover a new secret stash of energy. Energy is everything. It never goes away, it just shifts form.
Now that we can see that we need boundaries in our personal lives to keep our energy in check and balance, it’s time to take this examination of energy one step further. This week we are going to see how to create more of the energy we desire. Soft, kind, joyful loving energy.
Let’s start by revisiting Einstein’s quote:
“Energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed
from one form to another.”
To start, I think it’s warranted to be reminded that change isn’t easy! It typically is one tiny shift at a time. Again and again, and eventually all those tiny moments create something new. Kind of like snowflakes. One tiny snowflake after another eventually creates a blanketed landscape.
Therefore, to transform our energy we have to make one small shift, time and time again.
What kind of shift am I talking about? ANY kind! However, since I am a wellness coach, I going to focus on our personal wellness. Oh, and I am not talking about finally not eating that cookie by saying no to that cookie again and again. Generally that “no” is a forced harsh no, not a loving no, and the transformation we are looking for is a compassionate one. Besides, we’ve all tried the nail biting, food depriving, self hating approach before to find change, and that didn’t work out so well.
So, to say it more clearly, I am looking to shift the painful inner bully, self hating voice in all of our heads to one full of compassion, forgiveness and love.
Chances are you have a voice in your head that tells you all kinds of nightmarish stories. “You’re ugly. You’re fat. You’ll never get that job. Don’t even try, you’re just going to fail. You’ll never fit in those jeans again, just eat the container of ice cream and you’ll feel better.”
You know that voice right? The one that is constantly looking out into the world and comparing yourself to it, and ALWAYS falling short. The thoughts that play on repeat in your mind. That leave you feeling heavy, sad, and not good enough. You feel small and powerless.
Can you tap into that energy? Can you FEEL those thoughts in your body. Can you connect with how it leaves you feeling heavy hearted? That’s the energy we're looking to shift.
To clarify, again, I am not saying what we need to do is change our bodies, our bodies are lovable as they are. I am not saying that you need to change who you are, you are lovable just as you are. That's right. Right here, right now. Totally lovable.
Yep, it’s totally backward and unintuitive, but in order to love and accept our bodies we have to love them. Right here. Right now. No more…."when I loose the weight, or when I like what I see in the mirror"… nope. Love, accept, see, celebrate what is.
Crazy? Nah.
Crazy hard? Possibly.
This I do know, hating on your body will NEVER get you a body you love. Nope, never.
That is why it all comes back to energy.
Think about it. So you hate they way your body looks. You catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and the inner bully butts in. Criticizing, or hating, everything it sees. Feeding hate with hate. You are giving more of the same energy, which really only results in more of the same energy. Which is the exact opposite energy we desire. We desire love. We want to love the body, not hate it….yet we think that by hating our bodies we will eventually find love. (We are so silly sometimes, us humans).
In the wise words of Martin Luther King Jr:
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
In order to shift toward love, we have to be willing to give love. To ourselves. To the parts of us that we struggle to love. Especially those parts!
What does that look like?
Small little snowflakes, one at a time.
When you catch yourself in a moment of self criticism. When you feel your heart drop from the weight of the hate. Stop.
In this moment I am suggesting you say loving things to you. The you that transcends your body and your thoughts. It’s that essence of who you are. Beyond your emotions and beliefs. That part of you, deep inside that knows that you are enough. That you are worthy. That you are beautiful. That you are capable. That’s where you start to send your love.
Love the one that feels the pain of the inner critic.
I find placing a hand on my heart helps. It gets me into my body. Out of my story telling and manipulating mind and into the body that allows me to feel. To feel the pain... and, to feel the love.
With this practice, time and time again. One peaceful snowflake at a time your inner guide will feel the love. It will want more love. I mean, that’s how we flourish, by giving and receiving love! Your inner guide will start to pickup on the inner critics game and start to change course. It will acknowledge the presence of the bully, but not fall into the bully’s hate trap. It will even be able to see that the bully too needs love.
As you return, again and again to loving yourself beyond your mind's judgements and stories you will feel a shift. An opening. One that allows more love in, and more love out.
The energy is being transformed. The desire to hate on the body will change into the desire to celebrate the body.
Everything is energy.
“Energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed
from one form to another.”
It is time to change your self hate to self love. One snowflake thought at a time.
Besides, it isn't fitting into a pair of jeans you desire, that's just what the mind want you to think. What you're really after is self love. It's your's for the taking. One thought at a time.
Time and time again.
Always more love. You can do no wrong.
