Do you ever have moments when all of a sudden you are overwhelmed by emotion? It is as if these emotions have snuck up on you and surprised you. Like a wave that comes crashing down. No indication they were going to arrive. Then. BAM, there you are, an emotional mess.
This happened to me the other day while I was texting with a friend. As a result of the conversation I was able to see something that I had been totally oblivious to.
The details of the story are 39 years long, so I won’t get too deep. Basically, it has to do with friendship, community and my magnificent tribe of women. Growing up I didn’t have a close group of female friends that I trusted. It wasn’t until I moved to Seattle that I started to find my people. My women. My tribe.
Women that I can cry with, be silly with, be honest with, and be real. They love me for who I am. They support me and assisted me in my personal growth. They challenge me to dig deeper and love more. They ask me the hard questions. They share their love with me. They never give up on me.
They are amazing.
My life has changed because of these beautiful, powerful goddess. I am who I am because they are a part of my life. They are a testament to the importance of who we have in our life. It truly does take a tribe... I wouldn't be where I am without them.
Over the last few years things have been shifting. Change, that inevitable thing that creeps into our lives.
First my dearest and closest friend moved out of state, then to another continent, and then back, but not home. Next, another woman I consider to be a sister, started down the path of parenthood, which then took her further from the city. Lastly, a woman that literally has led me to things that have allowed me to change my career, to be here, with you…. she just started her family, and also moved further away from the city.
Sadness. I realized just how alone I was feeling all of a sudden.
Sweetness. All of a sudden I was craving something sweet! Chocolate, cookie, ice cream, pumpkin bread….
Then I thought about symbolism. In this moment I am wanting something sweet (and obviously food came to mind), but what else is there that can add sweetness to my life right now?
Sweetness is really just yumminess. It is love.
It’s a hug from a dear friend, or a smile from a stranger. It is the loving cuddles of a purring cat in your lap, or the melody of your favorite song.
Perhaps It is touch.
I realized that in that moment what I really needed was touch. I needed reassurance.
To feel safe.
To feel loved.
To not feel alone.
To not feel abandoned.
So I grabbed a soft blanket and curled up on my couch. No one was home to give me the comfort and sweetness that I was craving, so I decided to give it to myself.
As I held myself in my moment of sadness, that empty aloneness, I comforted myself. I welcomed my loneliness with compassion. I held that emptiness with love. I loved the one that was suffering.
Sure I also cried, but believe me, that is 100% normal for me.
But I also laughed. I thought of all of the beauty that these women have brought into my life. How they have nourished my heart and soul. How fortunate am I?! How grateful am I?!
How fortunate are they?! Their dreams unfolding into real life. Blessed. We are all blessed. Each moment together, a blessing. Each moment in life, a blessing.
I can acknowledge each woman for the sweetness they have brought into my life. Feeling how they have enriched me.
I don’t know what is going to happen next, but I do know this. I can celebrate my happiness, and I can celebrate my sadness. They are both welcomed.
Softness.
So the next time you find yourself craving something sweet ask yourself what you really need?
It may just turn out it isn’t that ice cream after all.
Maybe you just need a hug from someone who loves you.
Maybe that someone is yourself.
